"In the old days, if someone had a secret they didn't want to share... you know what they did?"
"I Have no idea."
"They went up a mountain, found a tree, carved a hole in it, and whispered the secret into the hole. Then they covered it with mud. And leave the secret there forever."
"What a pain! I'd just go to get laid."
"Not everyone's like you."

can't remember what that's from. an old movie, i think. anyway, it's relevant.

i know now that i never want to live in japan. my first impression of tokyo was "shit! it's just a giant sea of concrete!" second impression - black suits...black suits...put those together, and we get - japan is a beehive, and the people are drones.

japan is uninspiring.* everybody wears black, everyday. the subways are deathly silent as rows upon rows of people in black suits nod off (why is everybody always so tired?), and the announcer requests that cell phones be turned off so there can be silence on the train. tokyo has a copy of the statue of liberty, and a mini version of the eiffel tower, renamed the tokyo tower.

the one thing i took pleasure in was their attention to detail. i guess that attention is necessary- there is only so much space on that tiny island for the 12 or so million people. food is always beautifully presented; everything is always very organized and efficient. they make use of their spaces well, though sometimes that quality adds to the machinistic atmosphere. i later realized that beauty doesn't necessarily mean creativity, as food is always presented in the same way. japanese beauty is a practiced one.

i was going to write something poignant about how on sunday mornings thousands of people line up on the block to buy lottery tickets and how it seems that people have little hope of escaping their inert lives...but i won't.

my, my. i've painted a rather bleak picture of tokyo, and now i must undo it.
it's not that bad, i suppose. i was only there for 2 and a half days.

*i know it's a terrible thing to say, it's probably not true- i was only there for three days. though i thought it was enough.

it's been a 21 hour day.
woke up in japan at 5am, japanese time; and now it's 6 pm central time.
i got on the plane in japan at 3pm on sunday the 27th and arrived in minnesota at 2pm on the 27th. i should fly westward more often.

tokyo is a beehive,
and japs are drones.

that's my conclusion. will elaborate later, after sleep.

i need a crash course in japanese. like - learn japanase in 24 hours. well, technically i have 25...but if you count the flight it's more like 36 hours. my jap vocab conisists of, well, practically all the fish names, some random food names and...sayanara, arigato and kuso (which means fuck!).

"we're thinking about going to tokyo on wed. can you make the flight if it's at one?"

my mom's two sentence email to me last night (no, she couldn't call). so apparently i'm going to tokyo tomorrow. WHEEEEEEEEEEE! i've been to narita aiport 32o471209 times, but i've never actually been in the city. and i've always wanted to wander the streets at night (and get lost) Lost In Translation-style (great movie). but most of all, i'm just happy to be GETTING OUT OF MINNESOTA.

i won't grow up,
i don't wanna go to school
just to learn to be a parrot
and recite a silly rule.

if growing up means
it would be beneath my dignity to climb a tree,
i'll never grow up, never grow up, never grow up
not me!

I won't grow up,
I don't want to wear a tie.
And a serious expression
In the middle of July.
And if it means I must prepare
To shoulder burdens with a worried air,

I'll never grow up, never grow up, never grow up
Not me!
So there!

I won't grow up.
Not a penny will I pinch.
I will never grow a mustache,
Or a fraction of an inch.
'Cause growing up is awfuller
Than all the awful things that ever were.
I'll never grow up, never grow up, never grow up,
Not me,
So there!


Hooray for Peter Pan lyrics :) i couldn't have said it better. i've had enough of this grown-up business. sometimes i wonder if i'm really not a child stuck in an adult's body. paying rent? classes? work? what is all this? who am i? i need to be climbing trees and catching frogs and riding my bike!

shirking my adultish responsibilities, as usual.

I went to all my classes today.

granted, i only had two. but i still went to all two.


why i need to get my own apartment/house whatever, asap:

1. i want to be able to eat my weird chink food (like fried pig eyes and skewered capibara - better keep your dog away from me, i might try to eat it), without anybody asking me wtf that is - i can't even eat mexican food without people giving me weird looks. why is it that the white chick in 2 can eat branshekarhekwj mush and i can't even eat a burrito without somebody saying "what IS that?" with a horrified look on their face?
2. i want to be able to walk to the shower nekkid.
3. i like my music to go BOOM BOOM, not boom boom.
4. i refuse to clean up other people's bodily fluids.


this deserved its own list-
why i can't live with females:

1. toiletries! why in the world would one person posses enough toiletries to take up half an entire shelf in the broom closet? also, what else could you possibly put in your hair besides shampoo and conditioner? ok, i guess hair spray. but do you really need three different kinds? or more than one kind of lotion, for that matter? why?
2. they think it's weird that i don't need a boy to get rid of a spider or mouse
3. blood. 'nuff said.
4. the OC. 'nuff said.
5. pain, drama, jealousy, anger- i attribute it all to too many females under one roof.

i hate my sex.

People That Give Me The Warm Fuzzies
by moi

You know that spic in the back of McDonald's - the short, overweight one with the receding hairline and mustache?

He's got a daughter back in Mexico studying to be an opthamologist. He and his wife are saving up to buy a house and start a business. In his free time he likes to draw, take walks and learn English with his wife. His wife loves jazz and books.

I love them (as well as the rest of my tutees) because they truly want to learn and to improve their situation. They add another dimension to the nameless amigo in the kitchen; they're people beyond their sterotype.

The Whistler!This guy rocks my socks. I think because it's rare to see somebody doing something they love simply because they enjoy it; offering no apologies, excuses or explanations. The other day I overheard somebody saying that she was embarrassed for him. Don't bother, honey, that's his job, and he obviously feels no compunction for what he's doing. And why should he? so what if it's rather unpolished and uncool? it's expression; something there's not enough of in this world. Mad props to him, and may his detractors suffer from the plague.

Who else warms the cockles of my heart? ah, yes. people that cook for me. this one needs no explanation.

eeeegh. so much emoting in this entry.

What happens when a japanese restaurant runs out of rice?

Chaos. Utter chaos.
We had:

13 customers a-complaining
12 minutes left
11 servers screaming
10 people waiting
9 rice bowls emptying
8 amigos looking
7 cooks a-cooking
6 waiters improvising
5 pho-ones ringing
4 babies crying
3 managers bitching
2 japs scowling
and a sushi chef under the sink


ok, so that was a bit of a stretch. but i made it. :)

why oh why must the mystery flavor dum dum pops always be something that nobody eats (ie root beer or chocolate)? i just ate 12 servings of dum dums (that's 36 lollipops, folks; my teeth hurt) - eight of which were mystery flavor. SIX of those were butterscotch and the other two were root beer; numbers that anybody can tell you are as statistically unlikely as me getting a 4.0 this semester. i ate them, but i would have much rather preferred ANY other flavor in the bag.
why, dum dums, why?
is it because nobody will eat those flavors otherwise? if it is, your scheme isn't working - you can tell what flavor it is once you unwrap it.
why do you tease me so?

today i answer the eternal question -

what, exactly is a holla back girl?
we know gwen stefani ain't one; it ain't gonna happen like that.

good thing there's the Urban Dictionary. the two most recent entries in the good dictionary are as follows:

1. holla back girl

l

A girl that is willing to be treated like a doormat or booty call. She is a girl that will allow guys to do whatever they want with her and will just wait for them to 'holla back' at them.

2. holla back girl

A person who verbally postures (hollers back) in an argument and does not step up and fight. Gwen says she is not a holla back girl, implying that she will fight if challenged



the mystery has been solved! though now that i think about it, i spose it could be deduced from the lyrics of the song. but who listens to that crap?
don't you feel enlightened now?
you're welcome.



haha. i just can't resist.

2. a badunkadunk butt

ADJ,
The greater than averaged sized booty of a female when in motion. The booty makes 2 moves. 1st, badunk(up) and 2nd,adunk(down).

Damn, did you see the booty on that one..it was like....badunkadunk!

4. a badunkadunk butt

a butt where the two halves move intwo directions at the same time, the left will go up while the right goes down. when they cross they form a badunkadunk

Matt was walking behind the girl to see if she had a badunkadunk butt. then he prematurly ejaculated all over his whitey tighties.

big booty, glutius maximus, attah, boustrophedon, bene

Source: Kben, MA, Oct 19, 2005

5. a badunkadunk butt

A big, nice butt. Stereotypically coveted by black men, but anyone can appreciate it. BLACK WOMEN ARE NOT THE ONLY ONES WITH BADUNKADUNK ((or junk in the trunk, whatever.))

"DAAAMMN GURL YOU GOT SOME BADUNKADUNK"

Never lose sight of the five W's: wow , wahoo, woopeeee, whee, and whoa
(courtesy of Mr. Tom Robbins, the best author ever)

i would like to keep with the theme of the title, but i have a feeling this post is going to take a harsh turn. now.

these cold, empty nights.
how to get rid of the emptiness? do i fill the void with sugar? or do i revel in this abysmal mood? i could talk myself out of it, as is typically my way of dealing with shit, but that's no fun. i'm going to be gloomy and despondent. but just for tonight, i promise.

ah fuck it. i had a lot to say, but can't quite figure out how to make it come out right, just like i can't get these pictures turn out...something's off. it's either the lighting, the mood, the composition...i like the general idea of the picture, but i just can't make it happen. frustrating. i also hate ellipses.

"gotta find a way to be ok, but if you wanna spend the day trying to figure out what it's all about go ahead, knock yourself out"

Ode To the Ubiquitous Spic

Everywhere I go,
there's an amigo
from teriyaki and soy to salsa,
they're layin it on thick.
if i want curry,
i can thank a spic.
they're there if i'm in a hurry;
if i need it to go,
but i always wonder-
don't they tire of being called
amigo?


that was awful. in so many ways (politically and lyrically being the main ones... :) ).