i just realized that, for the past couple years, i haven't been living the way i've really wanted to live. i've been constantly pushing that lifestyle further and further into the future. this happens everyday, unconsciously. whenever i don't feel like jogging, i picture a time and place in the future where i'll be jogging everyday, and be fit. i'll have read the books i want to read, i'll have learned the things i've wanted to learn, i'll have painted the paintings i've wanted to paint. oh yeah, and i'll have been accepted to med school.

had a semi-epiphany the other day. do you have to go to med school to be a doctor? can't you just take the board? maybe not. maybe just wishful thinking.

time to stop all this wishful thinking.