AGH.
the faggot would say i just had a chick moment. i however, don't believe that the thoughts i'm thinking are restricted to members of my sex. though i spose it doesn't need to be this complicated. ah well it happens to the best of us :/

the H2O beverage company needs to hire a new PR person. my can of "sparkling water beverage" is apparently "naturally enhanced by other natural flavors". eesh.


some mitch hedberg quotes to distract me from the fact that i'm a complete failure-

"i wear a necklace because i want to know when i'm upside down."

"Sometimes I wave to people I don't know. It is very dangerous to wave to people you don't know, because what if they don't have a hand? They'll think you're cocky. "Look what I got, motherfucker, this thing is useful. I'm gonna go pick something up."

"Every time I go and shave, I assume there is somebody else on the planet shaving as well, so I say "I'm gonna go shave too."

"somebody asked me if i wanted a frozen banana. i said no, but i'll want a regular one later, so...yeah."

"That would be cool if you could eat a good food with a bad food and the good food would cover for the bad food when it got to your stomach. Like, you could eat a carrot with an onion ring and they would travel down to your stomach, then they would get there, and the carrot would say, "It's cool, he's with me."

"I saw a wino; he was eating grapes. I was like, "Dude -- you've got to wait!"

"As an adult, I'm not supposed to go down slides. So, if I'm at the top of a slide, I have to pretend like I got there accidentally. "How'd I get up here, Goddamnit!? I guess I have to slide down. WEEEEE!!!!" That's what you say when you're having fun.."