Fun ER Quotes Part 2:

patient states: "my penis is dripping"

"you two bitches come over here and wash my clothes!!!"

"yes or no: because of my back pain i avoid heavy objects around the house."
"No. my wife is 300 lbs."

"pt incredulous that the birth of this nation is celebrated with pyrotechnics, pt yelling repeatedly "i want to go home" but unable to give address"

pt intoxicated and stays in group home, friends brought him in because he was doing "the fish" again

"i got bugs in my urine. i been using pesticide, somebody left something in my house and it had bugs"

"pt states: "i wasn't gonna steal anything, i was just gonna pawn it, it's complicated, then they had this dude kick my ass"

"they're fuckin discriminating against me because i'm skinny! i don't want to be locked up! you can't treat me like this just because i'm skinny! the only way to get seen at a hospital is if you're morbidly obese!!!"

pt sedated and right before procedure yelled "don't steal my organs!!!"

"pt presents w/shoe print on L face, states: "yeah, they did stomp on my head, how'd you know?"