BLASPHEMY. is what it is to stay indoors on a day like this. this is why i'm not studying. i've been very bad lately, in more ways than one-morally, ethically, financially, academically.
i spose it could be worse, but that in itself is bad - i can't even be a good failure. if i'm going to fail, i might as well do it with style, but i'm too mediocre for that. i think that's my biggest fear- to live a completely mediocre life. well. at least i'm very good at being mediocre?

btw, if anybody's looking for a roomie for the coming school year, look no further. also, if you don't mind living in shoreview (no, i don't know where that is either), i have open rooms! this living sit is starting to piss me off. but we won't get into that cuz then i'd have to be bad again.

gonna go for a bike ride rather than study because, in my twisted mind, staying inside is more of a crime than not studying and consequently failing --> not getting into grad school --> failing at life. priorities, wynee? whatever happened to those?

oh yeah, one last thing. i'm giving up on men and relationships. at least for a while. at least until my hormones won't allow it? shit.


*edit*
i killed him again
or at least, i feel like i've committed murder.
this post seemed somewhat detached. think it's cuz i've spent an unhealthy amount of time agonizing over issues that i just need to get over, let go of. so i end up sounding rather callous.