my microbio prof said something amazing (-ly idiotic) today- he was speaking about bacterial populations reaching their critical limit when he said "i could make an analogy about a certain race of people in this room, but it might offend people....so....i won't say it. heh..." there was a dead silence, followed by nervous laughter and incredulous guffaws.

karaoke machines are fun, and so is biking in thunderstorms.

Supposedly, when it came time to fly their first plane, the Wright brothers flipped a coin to see who would be flying. Wilbur flew, but nobody knows who won the coin toss.

i've figured it out! finally. fuck med school, i'm going to become a stuntperson. i got hit today while biking and it was the most exciting thing ever.

i have tickets to system of a down/mars volta! and STOMP! and FOOZER! and metric! and death cab! i'm broke!

AGH.
the faggot would say i just had a chick moment. i however, don't believe that the thoughts i'm thinking are restricted to members of my sex. though i spose it doesn't need to be this complicated. ah well it happens to the best of us :/

the H2O beverage company needs to hire a new PR person. my can of "sparkling water beverage" is apparently "naturally enhanced by other natural flavors". eesh.


some mitch hedberg quotes to distract me from the fact that i'm a complete failure-

"i wear a necklace because i want to know when i'm upside down."

"Sometimes I wave to people I don't know. It is very dangerous to wave to people you don't know, because what if they don't have a hand? They'll think you're cocky. "Look what I got, motherfucker, this thing is useful. I'm gonna go pick something up."

"Every time I go and shave, I assume there is somebody else on the planet shaving as well, so I say "I'm gonna go shave too."

"somebody asked me if i wanted a frozen banana. i said no, but i'll want a regular one later, so...yeah."

"That would be cool if you could eat a good food with a bad food and the good food would cover for the bad food when it got to your stomach. Like, you could eat a carrot with an onion ring and they would travel down to your stomach, then they would get there, and the carrot would say, "It's cool, he's with me."

"I saw a wino; he was eating grapes. I was like, "Dude -- you've got to wait!"

"As an adult, I'm not supposed to go down slides. So, if I'm at the top of a slide, I have to pretend like I got there accidentally. "How'd I get up here, Goddamnit!? I guess I have to slide down. WEEEEE!!!!" That's what you say when you're having fun.."

what's brown, round and crumbles to the touch?
a reese's peanut butter ball! in other words, what's left of a reese's miniature when i've finished with one. finally got around to getting my studying on, but only because of the giant bag of chocolate silently cheering me on from the sidelines. my method of eating a reese's is as systematic as my studying is haphazard. first, i peel back the foil wrapper, being careful not to rip it because i'll need it later. then off comes the little paper cup, and the chocolate follows suit. but only the chocolate. oh what velvety richness! the little ball of peanut butter is then placed back on its wrapper, resting like a frog on a lilly pad. i might as well be in a pond right now, surrounded as i am by little butter-of-peanut frogs.

but back to the matter at hand--studying. i'm not so much studying as listening to med students study for their next anatomy exam. bits of dialogue are transcribed below for your pleasure:

"i told you the vagina wasn't up there! it's over here!!!"
"the vagina is 10cm long.
that's only 3 inches!
so what happens if a penis is longer than 10 cm?
i don't know, it goes into the uterus?"
"where the hell is the rectum? why can't i find the rectum?"
"i can't figure out if this is a man or a woman...it's gotta be a woman...if this is a vagina...no....."
"it's the dorsal nerve of the penis! no, wait. sorry, dorsal nerve of the clitoris."

sometimes i get to thinking that med students are severely sexually deprived.

whoa. classes? today?

er...moved out. have no money. tired. glad to be out of parents' house.
holy shittake mushrooms i have a nauseating amount of stuff.


*edit.
haha. my entries are getting more and more concise.
i'm confused. i have not a clue with what i'm doing. too much to do too much to say too much of everything. but we won't get into that cuz i might loose all control and puke it all out, and i'm no emotional bulimiac...sensory overload. agh.

and the beat goes on...