it rained today, and it was beautiful.

and then it thundered and lightninged and that was even better. :)
everybody should invest in a pair of rain boots. i really think it would make the world a better place. wore my froggy rain boots today and had so much fun splashing through puddles. after years of meticulously avoiding them, the experience was...delicious. :) and yes, they do make fun rain boots in adult sizes. i think my favorite thing about them besides allowing me the capacity to jump in puddles, is that they made people smile. granted, they were probably just laughing at how silly i looked, but hey. a smile is a smile. :)

one of the more accurate observations i've heard lately:

"wynee, you ain't shit, and you ain't neva gon' be shit"

amen. (:


i realized today that i'm glad i don't have a car. i'd miss so many of the little secrets our world has to offer. yeah, i know, corny as hell, but oh well. especially now, when all sorts of critters are coming out for spring...it's hard not to get caught up in all the shapes, colors, sounds and smells. i was outside for hours today, just watching, listening and feeling - the clouds, the texture of tree bark, damp earth, pine needles, coleopterans, aves, reptilia, amphibia...if you sit long enough, they'll come to you. (:

well. he's gone.

what a week. if anything, this week's proven that he's completely unhealthy. i've gained ten pounds, haven't been to the gym for a week (seven whole days!!), got no studying done, probably failed a test, went to a total of two classes, showered only twice, watched more movies than i normally watch in a year, and spent more money than i have.
and so...now that's he's gone i can get this train back on track. that's all this past week has been; a temporary derailment. i just wish my room wasn't so empty. it's the same feeling you get after the party's over and you're left to clean up the mess, it's a sudden silence, a sudden emptiness... much too sudden. the dog just came in looking for him, and when he saw that the boy wasn't here, his ears, tail and head all just sank, and he left. if i wasn't trying so hard not to care, i would say; my thoughts exactly, dog. my thoughts exactly.

it looks nice outside. think i'll go for a run. that is, if these extra pounds will let me.

AGGHH. why oh why is it that everybody talks about american casualties in Iraq, etc but nobody ever mentions Iraqi civilian casualties? there was a huge newspaper article today that laid out the numbers. of americans. it broke it down into all sorts of numbers, percentages, statistics, pie graphs, bar graphs, charts, tables. deaths per state, deaths per percentage of population in each state, causes of death, etc. WHAT ABOUT THE IRAQI'S? do we just not care? haha. stupid question.
i spose adding to my frustration is...stupid people. i hate it when people start an argument about something and then accuse you of trying to be "all philosophical and uppity" when you're merely playing along with the argument. oh, or if you've used a word longer than three syllables. it's not an effective argument. it is also infuriating when said person gets exremely defensive for no reason at all and starts calling you names. again, it's no way to argue. I'M SO TIRED OF IGNORANCE! i'm not claiming to know everything, i'm not better than anybody, and i don't make judgements. everybody should be like me....:)

from now on, i refuse to get excited about anything. i'm so tired of being disappointed. tried to go to london last night. paid for a hotel room through priceline, got really excited about seeing the london bridge, westminster abby, buckingham palace, soho, etc. i think what really did it was that when we were at the airport they were talking about the possibility of there only being two seats left on the plane. if that were the case, my brother and i were going alone. the possibility of me being in europe without parents was just too much. and it was going to happen!!! they gave my brother and i boarding passes! we were about to get on the plane! but then at the very last minute, the two people showed up. agh. don't ever show up fifteen minutes before a flight. especially a very full one. it's not nice.

after that, we decided to go to amsterdam. that flight was overbooked. then paris, iceland, australia, tokyo. after none of those worked, we set our sights lower. hawaii, the caymans, puerto rico, cuba, santo domingo. houston, miami, anywhere in florida. anywhere in the southern united states. nope, nope nope. now that i think about it, it was kinda funny. my mom and i just started naming cities. cancun, baton rouge, vegas, la, san fran? after a while, the gate attendant started helping us name cities. we would've gone anywhere -phoenix, tuscon, tulsa...when we got down to seattle, ny, canada, it started getting a little better, but there were still long waitlists. this spring break thing is ridiculous. so in the end, we figured out that the only place in the whole united states we can get to is st. louis, right in the middle of the godamn country, where nobody apparently wants to go. so we might head there later on today. why? i don't know.

right now though, out of frustration, i'm listed on a flight to puerto vallarta that leaves in two hours. can't decide if i even want to bother driving to the airport.

no titties as of yet. or peni. penes. see? i learned something in medical terminology. though i'm not so sure of what i'm learning in my other classes. was talking to chenyu last night. he's taking political theory, which is basically the same class i'm taking- political ideas and ideologies. we're reading a lot of the same stuff- sophocles, plato, locke, etc. i found out though, he's not reading machiavelli. and i'm not reading nietzsche . how can you take a poli sci class w/o reading machiavelli? or nietzsche? we get taught whatever the prof thinks is important. it's really scary to think about - we must be getting such skewed views of the world. and yeah, i've thought about this before but it never seemed that serious. or it just never bothered me this much. but maybe it shouldn't bother me so much. we can never know the whole truth about one thing, can we? we'll never get the whole version no matter who or where we learned it from. and another thing, there is no one truth, is there? everybody's version of reality is skewed.

i don't know though...makes me want to go out and find my own truth rather than learn it from somebody else. but we won't start with that :) school is school and i've got to do it. i guess.

WOOHOO SPRING BREAK!! I WANNA SEE TITTIES!

or at least be somewhere warm? anywhere i can yell that phrase and blend in? maybe not, i don't need any drunken revelry 'girls gone wild' style, but warmth and sun would be nice. i could even do with madison right now. parents kidnapped me, so i'm now stuck at home and everybody's gone somewhere for spring break. but...now that i'm home, i do have a car...

i just don't understand...

why do people use the elevators instead of the stairs at the gym? it makes no sense. it's like - you just ran five miles on that treadmill, but can't walk up/down 20 stairs? very frustrating to me. i guess it's the crazy asian part of me that needs to be as efficient as possible- if you're at the gym to work out, taking the stairs could only help, no? oh well. i guess i'm in no place to judge people...but daymn!

it's funny when people that don't seem that intelligent pop out these three/four syllable words or concepts that you know they really shouldn't be capable of using/understanding. most of the time it happens as a cliche though, or it becomes apparent later on in the conversation that they really don't know what they're talking about...fkwljef does it all the time. it was funny and sort of endearing at first, but now it's just annoying.

ya can't ever please me...

so i got into o chem. no, not happy. just got used to the idea that i wouldn't have to study for it, and now i'm two weeks behind. blarmy.
careful what you wish for, i spose. would've thought i'd learned that a while ago, but i guess not.

that's annoying - apparently today is women' s day. inane. unless there's a men's day.

i'm such a geek. i just bought BBC's The Blue Planet series (a 5 DVD box set). I'm so addicted! it's the most amazing thing ever. and David Attenborough is a great narrator.

agh. everybody i know has been telling me their crazy problems in the past two days. think i'm going to explode-there's so much stress in the world!!!! everybody just needs to calm down...do what i do. stop caring. it's really much easier.

must people be so fuckin contrived?! it's so very infuriating.

tell me why inspire me intoxicate me i need something to believe in. wanted passion i got pain well i guess it's better than nothing. stretching out into the nothingness miles of Stare, as Dickinson says. much madness is divinest sense what sense is there in this world exclamation points and question marks i just want a reason doesn't even have to be good just tell me waiting for an epiphany just go out and find it i need a good brainwashing agitation and refirmation comes to nothing assimilate conform embrace it all how does it taste where do i put my face needs a good washing clearing cleanse my soul what is soul souls - just another human invention color in this world is lacking color color it in like a coloring book it's whatever color you want it to be control you've got control control over what though control like freedom do people want freedom from or freedom to