i saw the coolest quote today:
nietzsche - "god is dead"
god - "nietzsche is dead"
:)
saw the cutest old fob couple. they were trying to pronounce "observatory", but it came out as "ah-pus-a-fa-toe-rai"...rambling cuz i don't feel like studying even though i should. and typing to feel productive and i like the way the keys feel under my fingers. the "crunch" that they make. though i don't think crunch is a good word for it, it's the only word i can come up with. already behind in half my classes. had no idea what microbio/immunology prof was talking about so, i fell asleep. smart, huh. at least i went to class...ha. yes, i deserve a cookie for going to all my classes so far :). uh, anyway, onto other scintillating news items of the day...heh wait, there are none. such is my life. oh, ben and jen split. it's freakin everywhere, everybody's talking about it. jeesus, who the hell cares? that was a rhetorical question, obviously, cuz i answered it before i asked it. oy what a loser i am. i know! i can have a little pity party for myself. it's only allowed to last five minutes though, because i just complained a couple blogs ago about the pettiness of the world. ok here we go! so much ugliness in me! not only in me though, on the outside too. not that it matters. not that i care either. i'm just having a five minute break down. or however long it would take for free willy to jump over this brick wall of mine. in which case it's either a really really wide brick wall or my pity party's over. we'll opt for the first option. i'm sick of my face i hate my skin my teeth my hair my eyes my nose my arms my legs my stomach there's so much fat fat fat fat fat fat that's alll just a giant lump of fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fafatfat fatfat fatty fatty fat fat fat just sitting here blegh ugh yuck disgusting. i disgust myself. i'm sick of being lazy and unmotivated and greedy and unhappy and unsatisfied and ungrateful little bitch that i am. fuckin idiot. sick of being a fucking idiot. a clown. a fumbling bumbling blockhead. sick of being stupid stupid stupid fat stupid fat fat stupid stupid stupid. stupid. stupid!!!!! why didn't i get the good genes from my parents? and how the hell did so much ugliness get jammed into one person?fuckin annoying. what ugliness is this festering inside me? dark hopeless chaos. cesspool of hopelessness inside, that's what. a void, an abyss... hate it when people sit around and whine and complain like i am. what does it accomplish?
ok that was five minutes. i'm quite ashamed of myself now. there are worse things in the world than being me. i think. come to think of it, it is all relative! i mean, if i were a starving child in ethiopia, i would suffer every day by being hungry and malnourished, etc. but as i am the way i am now, i suffer every day by being stupid and fat. now i know this is outrageously...something, can't think of the word. this is awful to say, but is there any way to say that our suffering is almost equivalent? because the worlds we (the child and i) were raised in were so different. in our society, being fat and stupid is almost as awful as starving in their society, right? is it possible to say that my being fat and stupid makes me suffer just as much as the kid suffers?
come to think of it, no. just...no.
nietzsche - "god is dead"
god - "nietzsche is dead"
:)
saw the cutest old fob couple. they were trying to pronounce "observatory", but it came out as "ah-pus-a-fa-toe-rai"...rambling cuz i don't feel like studying even though i should. and typing to feel productive and i like the way the keys feel under my fingers. the "crunch" that they make. though i don't think crunch is a good word for it, it's the only word i can come up with. already behind in half my classes. had no idea what microbio/immunology prof was talking about so, i fell asleep. smart, huh. at least i went to class...ha. yes, i deserve a cookie for going to all my classes so far :). uh, anyway, onto other scintillating news items of the day...heh wait, there are none. such is my life. oh, ben and jen split. it's freakin everywhere, everybody's talking about it. jeesus, who the hell cares? that was a rhetorical question, obviously, cuz i answered it before i asked it. oy what a loser i am. i know! i can have a little pity party for myself. it's only allowed to last five minutes though, because i just complained a couple blogs ago about the pettiness of the world. ok here we go! so much ugliness in me! not only in me though, on the outside too. not that it matters. not that i care either. i'm just having a five minute break down. or however long it would take for free willy to jump over this brick wall of mine. in which case it's either a really really wide brick wall or my pity party's over. we'll opt for the first option. i'm sick of my face i hate my skin my teeth my hair my eyes my nose my arms my legs my stomach there's so much fat fat fat fat fat fat that's alll just a giant lump of fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fafatfat fatfat fatty fatty fat fat fat just sitting here blegh ugh yuck disgusting. i disgust myself. i'm sick of being lazy and unmotivated and greedy and unhappy and unsatisfied and ungrateful little bitch that i am. fuckin idiot. sick of being a fucking idiot. a clown. a fumbling bumbling blockhead. sick of being stupid stupid stupid fat stupid fat fat stupid stupid stupid. stupid. stupid!!!!! why didn't i get the good genes from my parents? and how the hell did so much ugliness get jammed into one person?fuckin annoying. what ugliness is this festering inside me? dark hopeless chaos. cesspool of hopelessness inside, that's what. a void, an abyss... hate it when people sit around and whine and complain like i am. what does it accomplish?
ok that was five minutes. i'm quite ashamed of myself now. there are worse things in the world than being me. i think. come to think of it, it is all relative! i mean, if i were a starving child in ethiopia, i would suffer every day by being hungry and malnourished, etc. but as i am the way i am now, i suffer every day by being stupid and fat. now i know this is outrageously...something, can't think of the word. this is awful to say, but is there any way to say that our suffering is almost equivalent? because the worlds we (the child and i) were raised in were so different. in our society, being fat and stupid is almost as awful as starving in their society, right? is it possible to say that my being fat and stupid makes me suffer just as much as the kid suffers?
come to think of it, no. just...no.
posted by wynee at 9:33 PM
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