breaking news:

i only have two cavities. only.
mommy will be so proud.

after her head explodes. maybe i should just rot out all my teeth now so i won't have to worry about it later. i'm actually not too far from it. cuz i sure ain't givin up sugar. heyll naw.
it could be worse, i actually thought it would be three.
whopeee!

today i became a woman. (i can just see you guys thinking naughty thoughts. you sick fucks.)

i bought lotion for the first time ever. why on earth would i do such a thing, you ask? well i guess i finally got tired of my knuckles popping open and bleeding every time i bent a finger. though i am somewhat convinced that i am merely a host to aliens, and every time skin on any part of my body cracks open, little baby aliens are hatching out.
dry skin, my ass.


i just really enjoy this pic. har de har har.

finding old pictures is scary and amusing. i don't think i ever looked like this. i still don't look anything like it. look at me trying to pose...har de har har

wanderlust. i lust to wander. i lust. i wander, i lust.

Prairie dogs are hilarious. and FAT. what's also funny is that I don't remember taking this picture... 

girl: "what's a phallus?"
professor: "it's uh, a penis. a male sex organ. spelled with a 'p-h'"

AHHHHH!!! how can a person make it this far and not know what a phallus is? the poor girl. and yes, i swear this really happened. ask the faggot, he was there.
speaking of which, having a class with the faggot does not bode well. we spend lectures scoping out members of the male sex in our class between bouts of sudoku and crossword puzzles. oh well. at least he keeps me awake.

i really must leave the country. or stop living in whatever box i'm in. GET ME OUT OF HERE. on the bus and in class today, i caught snippets of people's conversations. i dunno, maybe i sound just as vapid and inane at times, but....daymn. how do you have a ten minute convesation about hair? or what bob said to john said to sarah said to ryan? or what the prof is wearing?

i have a sneaking suspicion, though, that wherever i go; it won't be much different. people will be ignorant in different ways. but...i won't hesitate to argue that the american brand of ignorance is the most spiteful.

"Wow. This place is much better than Taiwan."
- George Bush on his most recent visit to China; replaced by static on CNN

oh georgey. i love it. i simply love it.

 

 

 

 

 

As much as i complain about scary hard-core midwesterners, SoDak is a boootiful state. esp the black hills 

one $272 speeding ticket, two chinks, three days

translates into: approximately one gig in pics, two extra pounds of lard on my ass, and a newfound fear of corn-fed midwesterners and jesus. oh, and i'm a lot poorer than i was four days ago.

and now it's time to, as my mom likes to say, "shou xin", or gather in my heart so i can settle down and focus on...shit, i can't say it, the "s-word".

it would appear that my heart is still running wild. it is free! free like a...a wildebeast! an eagle!

new year, same shit