wish i could say that i feel better now that i've vented, but i don't. so i just wasted fifteen minutes of my studying time and i'm wasting more now. why is it that people feel better after telling others of their suffering? is it because they want sympathy? do they want the world to know just how much they are going through and just how strong they are? i guess complaining is a form of bragging, eh? ok, so now it's quite obvious that i'm procrastinating. that's how i got into this mess in the first place. oh well. half an hour to go. you know what they say about procrastination- "procrastination is like masturbation; it feels great until you realize you're fucking yourself". i'm seeing that quote every where now. living in the moment. that's what i've been doing wrong. but i just complained that nothing matters in the long run, so why the hell not live in the moment and procrastinate? come to think of it, that's been the driving force for my entire life! every action i've taken, every decision i've made came out of a tension from the question. everything.