Currently listening to: Badly Drawn Boy "The Hour of Bewilderbeast"

just finished a book called waiting, by ha jin. i feel like the main characters. every summer the man--a doctor working in the city goes back to his rural home to divorce his wife from their loveleses marriage so he can marry his city girlfriend. he does this for eighteen years, and one year, is finally successful. in the meantime, both his girlfriend and him have grown old, and when they are finally married, they can't help but wonder what it would have been like if they had married eighteen years ago. by this time, they are jaded, passionless, but they must learn to adjust to this new life, because it's what they've been striving for for so long.

is this what i'll end up like? striving for some purpose or another, only to find out in the end that it's really not what i wanted, and that all this time i've been struggling blindly to end up wherever

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